I Finally Embraced Feminism… So should you.

The very first time I confronted my issues with feminism was four years ago. Myself and a very close friend,(who was a staunch feminist) were seated in the University cafeteria. Having just had lunch, we were biding our time and just talking about random things like we always do.

I remember her constantly affirming her feminist status, and I just told her point blank that I could never be a feminist. I was pissed at the whole feminism ideology. To me, it was sick. I had no idea that I had been misinformed. We were both freshmen in the University, and we majored in law, so there was definitely a lot of arguing.

I argued then, that the feminists I saw everyday were bitter men-hating women who couldn’t stand up to the oppressive men in their lives, and so used feminism as a prejudicial tool against men in general. I went on about how the feminists I saw all over social media were disturbed women who couldn’t deal with their failed marriages and blamed it on the men. I was pissed. If we were to be really honest with ourselves, a lot of women who claim to be feminists are just a bunch of angry women, who hate men for the singular fact that they are men and this part of the reason a lot of men will never identify with feminism.

I remember reading a tweet from a so-called feminist who advised mothers on depriving their male babies of the needed breast milk as a way of standing up against men. That in itself was discriminatory and disturbing. Every where I turned, feminism was abused and I in turn hated it for what these people made it represent.

My friend however schooled me that day. For the very first time, I saw the beauty in feminism. I saw what it truly represented- equality, equity and liberation. She didn’t however disagree with me when I spoke about these disturbed women. It just made me see that, it’s human nature to twist things to suit our purposes.

A few years down the line, I decided to write a fairly extensive article on feminism. I did a lot of historical research on the subject, because I thought, “It’s not enough that you know what feminism is all about, we must equip ourselves with first-hand knowledge”. First-hand knowledge for me meant going in search of the “why” and the “how” rather than sticking with my base knowledge of the “what”.

It’s sad, because we all should be feminists(I’m a proud feminist by the way). Men and women alike, and our children should grow up embracing feminist values. Feminism means different things to people from different spectrum of life. It always however boils down to 'Equality of the genders’. The inequality that’s being fought against, may be more pronounced in some parts of the world and less in others, but it still exists.

I remember vividly a discussion I took part in, where feminism and the existence of the gender pay-gap was openly discussed. There were a number of guys who may not have openly said they were feminists, yet they understand what feminist agitators are agitating for. You could however tell that they did not agree with some of the ideologies. I wouldn’t blame them, because truthfully, in some circles, I’d rather maintain my non-feminist status than voice out, because there’s just so much schooling that needs to be done. A number of times, I’ve had to put someone in the know and clear their misconceptions about feminism and it is saddening, because just like me a few years back, some people have held on to their third-hand knowledge of feminism. I broke out of that by educating myself. Feminism is everyone’s cross and it’s definitely not a revenge mission.